Yes, I just had one. For someone who just had a miscarriage, I’m probably one of those who is scared of getting pregnant at the moment. Although some people, after a miscarriage and even those who underwent DNC, immediately gets back to the TTC bandwagon. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them. Friends have been saying that there’s a 90% chance of getting pregnant after undergoing DNC (since as they say, my uterus “got cleaned”) and encouraged me to go whip up some baby immediately since the stakes are that high! I did not even attempt to check if this statistics is even true.
I am scared. Scared of getting pregnant at the moment. Are you asking me why? just read back and you’ll know why. Ah, you just did that and did not find any answers? Well, let me enumerate it for you: First, the whole experience was traumatic (actually it still is); Second, I think my body ai’nt ready for it yet (need to trim down some plumpness areas); Third, the experience got me all depressed and my hubby got tired of me crying out of no reason, mumbling stuff, whining and then cry some more; Fourth, hubby and I decided to prioritize some things first like the construction of our own house so our forthcoming baby will eventually live in our new house and we plan to beef up our savings first. Well the fourth reason actually closed the deal for me, well okay, except for the semi-fifth reason that my younger sister pre-booked our whole family for my niece’s 7th birthday in Hongkong! It’s my family’s first out of the country trip and I don’t want to miss it just because I can’t board a plane if I’m heavily pregnant. It’s hubby’s first HK trip as well and he doesn’t want to waste his ticket, for sure.
So with these things in mind, hubby and I decided that we move it to early next year when I have fully recovered since it will be a year at least since the miscarriage. So our birth controlling have been upswing lately. Nope, I don’t take any contraceptives, we’re doing it the Au Naturel way.
So what’s the pregnancy scare all about? it all started 2 weekends ago (yes, on my birthday) when after having dinner with my family, I was vomiting wildly and then suddenly got sick, with all the chills and aching body. I almost didn’t make it on my swimming party the next day, but I was glad that despite my headache and slight fever, I eventually got better. Then exactly 1 week after my birthday, the weather was bad and everything, I suddenly got high fever, diagnosed with influenza, and stayed in bed for 3 days with a maddening headache than runs from my nape to the temples of my forehead. It was bad. Really bad. Hubby’s mom was checking up on me all the time and even checked my BP. She gave the idea that I might be pregnant. Again. Yikes. She said that me getting sick may be one of the symptoms of pregnancy. Come to think of it, this is EXACTLY what had happened to me last November 2010 when I got this sick also for 2 consecutive weekends. The headache. The fever. The dizziness. Having no appetite at all. My UTI must be wreaking havoc once again. Just the thought of it was enough to make me burst into a cry once again, getting all paranoid as I tell hubby that I can’t be pregnant, not this way again, since my fever was one of the reason why my ovum baby had slow growth and didn’t develop normally. I was already blaming myself for not taking care of myself more despite my regular take of vitamin C and folic acid. And that IF I am indeed pregnant, I would definitely worry and that I’ll be worst than worst if I had another miscarriage again. I was panicking. I was computing from my last period and even checking if I had our tables all wrong.
As I wake up this morning, still coughing terribly, my prayers got answered. I had my period 2 days early. I breathe a sigh of relief. The Lord must’ve known that it’s not yet time. When that time comes when I’ll be ready emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually, He would let me know about it and I promise, I’ll embrace my pregnancy whole-heartedly.
Whichever Comes First 