Nope. Still no bouncing baby boy or girl in sight. I’m still far from having one actually. Not that I can’t. For the meantime, I chose not to. Yup, you heard me, I refused to. Kick me out of the TTC bandwagon then, if you must. Who knows, maybe later, I might tell you why.
It’s been a year since my last miscarriage. Yes, surprisingly, I decided to write once again to commemorate my 2nd supposedly baby and what I went through. I just found the urge to write and update my 3 followers, well, I think they deserve an update after they clicked my subscription button, don’t they? I am what you call an occasional blogger. As you can see, I have been consistent, writing only if an occasion, in this case, a miscarriage happens. So I’m putting a stop to it. For a time, I resisted writing. I resisted a lot of things actually. I resisted all exams given by my OB. I just stopped doing something to my body. Enough already, I said.
2011 was a very difficult year for me. Last time I heard, the first year of marriage is supposed to be the most blissful year of a husband and wife, being newlyweds and all that exciting stuffs newlyweds are supposed to experience (fine, having a baby is one of them). I’m not bitter, actually. It’s just that I expect things to be “normal” but unfortunately, it’s not.
2011 may have ended emotionally difficult. I was mourning, if that’s what you call it. But as 2012 unfolded, I felt positive that this year will be different. How or Why, I don’t know. I just know it will be a better year. I was very optimistic. I believe that PAIN is a big part of God’s great PLAN for me. I surrendered everything to Him.
Then I started living.
I embraced the fact that, maybe, this isn’t for me at the moment. At the right time, I believe it will be given. It will truly be a wonderful gift.
I decided to start my journey towards TTC once again by starting to write here again. Hopefully, this time around, as I go through this journey, the end result will be positive.